There are Lies, Darn Lies, and Phone Gremlins!

Have you ever heard a story that is so unbelievable that you can’t wrap your head around it? Well, try experiencing a story that is so unbelievable that you cannot process it, even when it happens and continues to happen! This is the story of phone gremlins. Note: you are more than welcome to believe that it is just technology doing its normal thing, but read on…

In our blog, An Idea, Lana Del Rey and Five, Yes Five, Phones Later, Spike and I didn’t think there would be phone number six–yes, six! (And don’t dismiss Spike’s ability to count. In addition to understanding multiple languages and stating when he wants to go out, he counts as well.)

Anyway, back to the phones: By the time we reached Phone#3, I think I was truly traumatized.

The Proverbial U-turn: Upon making a U-turn, Phone #3 decided to ski across the dashboard, detach itself from its recharge cord, and fly out of Spike’s window as we were “happily” heading for the Corolla Horses. Mind you, this was after I had used the phone to take more than 30 minutes of storm footage and photos while crossing the world-renowned engineering feat, 23-mile-long, and an 18-dollar toll Chesapeake Bay Bridge. A mouthful huh? It’s a really long bridge, on which, I didn’t just capture a storm, but we were driving during a hurricane that was delivering torrential rains. My phone, however, decided that a hurricane wasn’t exciting enough. So, it chose, instead, to fly out of the passenger-side window into an intersection and get squashed by oncoming traffic.

Upon realizing that my phone may have flown the coop, disbelief wrenched through my soul. Nevertheless, I completed my U-turn and told Spike, “That didn’t just happen. The phone must be on the other side of your seat.” Of course, Spike just looked at me–I have no picture of his expression because the phone was gone. Two miles later, I found a safe place to pull over and search the Jeep. Hearing no Google directions and no news–as I had just commanded the phone to play the top stories of the day–I realized that the phone really did fly out of the window. I was in complete disbelief: a frozen state of existence with no comprehension. I recomposed myself and reluctantly returned to the intersection. I parked my Jeep, *stopped the traffic, walked into the cross-hairs of the street, and gathered my trusty crushed phone that responded, “Make a U-turn.”

Needless to say, if my expression could have been captured, I am sure the twisted-face grimacing emoji would have been my twin.

Rewind. Only days earlier—at the very start of our journey—the tragic departure of Phone #1 took place. This phone, fresh from a Virginia store, practically leapt out of my hand and smacked the pavement. It landed face-down with not even a hairline crack… and yet, the screen never worked again. My god-brother, who I had stopped to visit during our New Jersey detour, just blinked at me and said, “That’s weird.” For context, he had just witnessed, in less than an hour, the same exact phone slide off my parked Jeep. That’s right: the Jeep wasn’t even running. No engine vibration. Nothing. Just…smack on the ground it went. And this all happened after I had just said, “I’m taking my phone back to a store because the volume controls stopped working, and it stopped picking up service—even after I reset it using the special code.”

That night, I successfully replaced that phone with Phone #2. But …little did I know… the phone saga was just beginning.

After spending two and a half hours in the phone store—past closing time, mind you—I finally walked out with Phone #2… only to discover it had a faulty camera. It flat-out refused to take photos. Not blurry ones. Not glitchy ones. None.

So, the next day, determined to swap it, I drove back—only to find that the phone carrier’s entire computer system had crashed. Yes, crashed. Did I say, “Emoji!” Cue my best emoji grimace 😬. I left.

Later that day (because clearly, I had nothing else to do with my life), I returned to the store, which now had working computers. And, I received Phone #3—that was the very phone that would later fly out of the Jeep’s window. Yep…yup…yep…the U-turn phone.

So, do I really need to keep blogging about how I ended up with Phone #6 by the end of the trip? Because honestly, at that point, I started to think that gremlins have their own group chat–possibly called Get MikeandSpike!

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Lessons: Hmmm. Let’s stay on concrete terms: If you love engineering, the history of the construction process of the 23-mile Chesapeake Bay Bridge is worth discovering! Even better, it’s worth following Spike’s paw prints and driving across the bridge for yourself–just not during a hurricane!

STEM Research: Chesapeake Bay Bridge

History: Find the salted origin of the phrase, “Lies, —lies, and statistics.” Wikipedia’s lead. Remember to scroll to the bottom to check for more sources.

*Do not try this life-endangering action.