There are Lies, Darn Lies, and Phone Gremlins!

Have you ever heard a story that is so unbelievable that you can’t wrap your head around it? Well, try experiencing a story that is so unbelievable that you cannot process it, even when it happens and continues to happen! This is the story of phone gremlins. Though: you are more than welcome to believe that it is just technology doing its normal thing but read on…

In our blog, An Idea, Lana Del Rey and Five, Yes Five, Phones Later, Spike and I didn’t think there would be phone number six–yes, six! (And don’t dismiss Spike’s ability to count. In addition to understanding multiple languages and stating when he wants to go out, he counts as well.)

Anyway, back to the phones: By the time we reached Phone#3, I think I was truly traumatized.

The Proverbial U-turn: Upon making a U-turn, Phone #3 decided to ski across the dashboard, detach itself from its recharge cord, and fly out of Spike’s window as we were “happily” heading for the Corolla Horses. Mind you, this was after I had used the phone to take more than 30 minutes of storm footage and photos while crossing the world-renowned, engineering feat, 23-mile, and $18-toll Chesapeake Bay Bridge. I didn’t just capture a storm, but we were driving during a hurricane that was delivering torrential rains. My phone, however, decided that a hurricane wasn’t exciting enough. So, it chose to fly out of the passenger-side window into an intersection and get squashed by on-coming traffic.

Upon realizing that my phone may have flown the coop, disbelief wrenched through my soul. Nevertheless, I completed my U-turn and told Spike, “That didn’t just happen. The phone must be on the other side of your seat.” Of course, Spike just looked at me–I have no picture of his expression because the phone was gone. Two miles later, I found a safe place to pull over and search the Jeep. Hearing no Google directions and no news–as I had just commanded the phone to play the top stories of the day–I realized that the phone really did fly out of the window. I was in complete disbelief: a frozen state of existence with no comprehension. I recomposed myself and reluctantly returned to the intersection. I parked my Jeep, *stopped the traffic, walked into the cross-hairs of the street, and gathered my trusty crushed phone that responded, “Make a U-turn.”

Needless to say, if my expression could have been captured, I am sure the twisted-face grimacing emoji would have been my twin.

Rewind: Only days before–at the start of our journey–the departure of Phone #1 occurred. The phone, from a Virginia store, practically jumped out of my hand and smacked the ground. It landed face-down with not even as much as a hairline crack, yet the screen never worked again. My god-brother, who I had stopped to visit during our New Jersey detour, just looked at me and said, “That’s weird.” Note, he had just witnessed, in less than an hour: the same phone falling off of the parked Jeep (a Jeep that had no engine vibration as it had been parked for some time). This all happened after I stated, “I’m taking my phone back because the volume adjustments stopped working and it stopped picking up service even after I reset it with a special code.” That night, I successfully replaced that phone.

However, after remaining in the phone store two and a half hours beyond its closing, I discovered that Phone #2 had a faulty camera. It refused to take photos. The next day, when I drove back to swap it, the phone carrier’s computers crashed. My emoji grimace appeared then as well. Later that day, I returned to the store and its working computers. That is when I received Phone #3, which subsequently, was the phone that flew out of the window…need I continue to blog about how I got to Phone#6 by the end of our journey???

At this point, all I can say is “Gremlins.”

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Lessons: Hmmm. Let’s stay on concrete terms: If you love engineering, the history of the construction process of the 23-mile Chesapeake Bay Bridge is worth discovering! Even better, it’s worth following Spike’s paw prints and driving across the bridge for yourself–just not during a hurricane!

STEM Research: Chesapeake Bay Bridge

History: Find the salted origin of the phrase, “Lies, —lies, and statistics.” Wikipedia’s lead. Remember to scroll to the bottom to check for more sources.

*Do not try this life-endangering action.